The story behind the dove

So here it is – “Dove in the Room”.  

In my first blog I would like to share the reasons why I chose this name and logo for my mediation and conflict coaching business.

In my 14 years’ experience as a disputes lawyer, I have seen my fair share of fighting.  Particularly in the probate dispute world, I have witnessed some devastatingly destructive behaviour by people in the name of “winning”.  I have seen first-hand the impact of litigation on people’s personal lives, with one client once saying to me, deep into an acrimonious family dispute, “this is like a cancer Julia and it just needs to be cut out”.   Those words will be with me forever and they truly were a catalyst for me taking the bold step to set up as an independent mediator specialising in resolving family inheritance disputes.  

The story behind the name

Conflict will always be with us, especially in the family.  It would be naïve to think anything else. But there is an alternative to all out war and winning at any cost.  Sadly, people get so embroiled in the emotion of their dispute and their strong desire to get “justice”, that they develop a blind spot.  They fail to see that there is another way out which could not only be less painful, but also more beneficial. It is easier to play the hawk than the dove, but hawks fail to see that even if they win, they do not always get everything that they want.  I came up with the name “Dove in the Room” as a play on the words “Elephant in the Room”. As the dove has for a long time been an acknowledged symbol of peace, it was a perfect fit for my mediation business.  

The story behind the logo

When it came to developing my logo, I wanted to create an icon that at first glance captured opposing parties to a dispute coming closer together.  If you look closely at the Dove in the Room logo, it is two doves leaning towards each other to form one. This also represents my vision, which is to help families to build bridges, preferably before it is too late, in a way which creates a stronger family unit.  

On a slightly deeper level, the logo also encapsulates the negotiation concept of “dovetailing differences”, which is a way of aligning different interests that leads to a solution that works for both sides.  Dovetailing differences (otherwise known as “creating value”) is about finding ways to sweeten the pot for the other side to find a mutually beneficial resolution.  The idea is to make proposals which are low cost to you, but which are of high benefit to them so as to give your opponent “the bridge of golden retreat”.  

Judges are often dismayed when family conflict reaches the courtroom and sometimes refer to parties needing to “knock heads together”.  I’m going for a gentler approach, which will hopefully result in some chance of family reconciliation, but if that isn’t possible, then at least a chance to move on with life, with less emotional pain.  Through Dove in the Room, I want to encourage both clients and lawyers to approach conflict differently. I have created a holistic approach to conflict avoidance and resolution. My purpose is to help bring peace, closure and reconciliation to families experiencing conflict, whilst at the same time helping lawyers to achieve the best results for their clients.  If you want to learn more, please get in touch: 977371.